Well I
missed my opportunity on the rest day, but I guess it’s kind of the half-way
point of the tour depending upon how you count, so let’s do an update of how things
are going at this year’s tour.
GC Battle
Forza
-
Mollema:
Maybe the revelation of this tour, but mostly just Dutch
-
Costa: High placing right now, gonna be hard to hold
it helping Valverde
-
Nitro
Katana: This little shit is hardcore,
probably going to take white and crack Froome
-
Peraud: Top 15 here I come!
-
Nocentini:
Is he in this race?
Volpe
-
Andy:
Gotta say, not looking that bad. Top 10?
And even more surprising no jokes from the Commish.
-
Basso:
Still soaking his infected taint
Wiskota
Dynamic
-
JRod:
Too hot? Come on buddy. Still has a chance
come the Alps
-
Jerkin’:
I’m going to go home and drain my knee.
-
TVG:
But my power meter says…
-
Gesink:
Lost 8 minutes on a flat stage. “I’m getting stronger each day” -actual tweet
-
Talansky:
U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.
-
Cunego: Lampre blows
-
Niemiec:
Lampre blows
-
Brajkovic: Landed on his face, bring on the Vuelta!
-
Moreno: Still hanging in there with JRod, got pipped
for third, shhhhh
Guilluame
-
Froome:
Well, they don’t call him Maillot Jaune Guilluame for nothing.
-
Kreuziger: Looking stronger than Contador
-
Porte:
So, glad this dude cracked, I was starting to get pissed.
-
Anton:
Hanging around
Fujarky
-
Contador:
Needs more of that “good meat”, still think he attacks big time in the Alps
-
Evans:
Still shooting for a top ten. BMC has really pussed out.
-
Hesjedal: I don’t really understand this guy. Already like a half an hour back.
-
Danny
Martin: Kicking ass. Going to get dropped in the Alps.
-
Santambrogio:
Come on Steven, get with the transfers
-
Pinot:
Dude has a speed phobia? Lost 30 minutes on a descent, then cried. True story.
-
Monfort:
Uhh, not horrible I guess.
-
Zubeldia:
Broke his hand, still rolling.
-
Nieve:
Climb baby, climb! Possible top ten this year.
Taco
-
Valverde: Podium. With a kick ass team, he may have the
best shot of topping Froome.
-
DeGendt:
Not sure what he’s going for here.
-
Fuglsang:
Taco’s pride and joy has stepped it up. Currently 11th overall.
-
Rolland:
“I’m not aiming for the Polka Dot jersey”. Totally wearing Polka Dots.
Sprinters/Wild Cards
Forza
-
Gilbert:
Any day now…
-
Boassen
Hagen: Keep racking up those 4th
place finishes.
-
Voekler: If the camera’s out the tongue’s out. Not
sure if he’ll get one this year.
-
Westra: Apparently, he is going to get in every
break.
-
Kwiatkowski: The Quiet One does it all. White jersey?
Volpe
-
Cav:
Got some ground to make up if he wants Green.
Still getting points.
-
Roche: Non factor?
-
Kittel: Wow, dude is fast. Already 2 wins. Big German sprinters!
Wiskota
Dynamic
-
Sagan: Hulk smash!
Gotta get that Green ya’ll.
-
Chava: So many chances so far, a few more to come.
-
Geraint:
Broke his fucking taint
Guillaume
-
T.
Martin: We should just TT every day.
Survived a tough crash early on.
-
Gerrans: Beat Sagan in a sprint, took yellow, sounds
like a leprechaun
-
Goss: I mean really, we still have to talk about
this guy?
-
Terpstra:
Keep closing those gaps for Cav.
Fujarky
-
Greipel: 1 stage win, lost one to Kittel, another German
sprinter. There can be only one!
Taco
-
Moser:
Keep closing those gaps for Sagan
-
Degenkolb: Less mustache more sprinting
The Race
-
Corsica:
Bomb. Let the carnage begin
-
Team
Time Trial: Whatever, I guess
-
Mainland:
“Are you not Greipertained!?”
-
Team Sky: Our sports science is too tight
-
Team
Sky: Damn, I’m tired
-
Movistar:
The Triumvirate will prevail
-
Saturday:
Getting drunk Tour style
-
Mount
Ventoux: Can’t wait
